my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
