All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
