it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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