so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
