i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
