your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
