I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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