remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
