That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
