Plan B is the new Plan A
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
