yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
