i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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