she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
