margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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