your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
