so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
