I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
