Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
