P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
