I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
