I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
do nipples grow back?
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