I hate all girls vehemently.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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