I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
