Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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