dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
