I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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