This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
