My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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