no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
