I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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