I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
