so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
