I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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