They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
