White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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