So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
