Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
