So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
