my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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