im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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