Non-Jews are for practice
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
