I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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