Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
