marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
