There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
