I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
