I could have mohawked her pubes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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