mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
