This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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