Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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