Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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